Mortality

When an event suddenly thrusts ones own mortality smack bang in your face, its a very humbling and mind changing time.

Others may find this event somewhat uneventful, but for me, this is something that opens ones mind to a whole new series of thoughts and concepts.

Last Monday back in My Work Unit, around 4am, I woke suddenly. My right hip area was stone cold, uncovered by the Doona that had somehow slid off during the night. I covered myself from the freezing morning air, and added an extra blanket.
The ache in my hip was intense, I had to get up as the discomfort was unbearable laying down. Its 4:30am, and I am tired. I worked til 11pm the night before, and crawled into bed just after midnight.
I have had only 4 hours sleep. back to bed I crawled again, but the pain in my hip was an absolute eye opener. I couldn't figure out why I was in so much pain.
Maybe because it was uncovered the cold air had made the muscles ache too much?
I conceded defeat and got out of bed, had a hot shower and decided to head south to Tullah.
My Friend was heading off to Melbourne that morning and I was off to Tullah to pick him up, drive him to Wynyard (Burnie Airport) and then I would go back to the Unit and wait for 3pm for my afternoon shift.
It was a long drive there and back, my hip was aching a lot by this stage, but a couple of pain relief tabs should fix it I thought.

Back in the Unit my pain was increasing, too late to call in sick for work, I wandered down to work at 3pm with a heavy head and an achy hip area. All night it was there, the niggly pains, telling me that something in there was wonky.
Finally the shift ended, and I headed off to Tullah late into the darkened night. It was a slow drive, one reason was Wallabies and other wildlife, that seem to love congregating on the roadside watching for vehicles and then play a game of jump in front of the Car. I won this round, missing all who dared to leave a dent in my Car bonnet.
I was in Pain!
My hip was burning!
I arrived in Tullah, and pounced on the heat pack I had there.
Relief did you say? NO!
It made the pain worse.
I had a hot shower.
Still no relief, instead it became a thumping muscular ache that throbbed in pain all night.
I slept not!
Laying down was a curse, I just couldn't get comfortable, the aching thud thus thud thud drove me to wander the corridors and rooms of the house til sunrise.
Pain releif tablets seemed to have no effect!
Is this living? Is this a Life worth living, oh so many silly thoughts go through ones mind at these times.
I must say..The Internet late at night is a great way to distract the Mind and chat to others around the Planet, proving that Life does exist beyond these darkened skies that shone through the lounge windows.
The next day was no better, pain contining, walking an issue where I would take ages, not seconds, to get to the Bathroom, the Kitchen, and the Bedroom. Sitting down was ok, gravity was my friend, but standing up was my enemy. Halfway up the muscular pain would flare and intensify, leaving me in tears when I finally was able to stand up and hobble off.
Phone call to the Local Surgery, this is not muscular I thought, must see a Doctor.
So today around midday I drove south to Rosebery, in incredible pain, as the road is very very windy and hilly and you are constantly accelerating and braking, all this with my Pained right leg. Every corner was a tear jerker, a few yelps when I braked would have sent any passenger over the Moon in fright.
I arrived at the Surgery and discovered that the pain was so intense, it took me around 5 mins to actually get out of the car as I couldn't bend my right leg due to the searing pain in the upper thigh muscle.
Finally I hobbled into the Surgery and after a few mins wait, I was called in to see, not 1, but 2 Doctors.. One was a Student Intern.
There they did a series of observations, tests, and consulted with other Doctor Colleagues.
Then came the diagnosis.

SHINGLES!!!!!

Wha????
Shingles! But, how, where, when????
All these silly questions popped into my head.
I was given some reading material to explain that Shingles can reoccur in anyone who has had the ChickenPox Virus, which I did have when I was a child.
Even having the Common Cold, which I still have now, can be a trigger to reactivate the Herpes Virus that has been dormant in the body since childhood.
The intensity of the pain in the muscle tissue, and not being calmed by heatpacks, only cold packs, was now adding up.
Well now I was in pain, but at least had a more definite idea as to Why I was in pain.

Now I sit here in the Kitchen, with a walking stick by my side to help me walk short distances, pain relief tablets, and antiviral tablets nearby staring at me, telling me that a small event in ones life can alter your whole life's path.
Its a very humbling experience, and has made me suddenly feel very Mortal.
My Mortality has become my focus right now. I am unable to do much until the pains subside, which annoys me big time, as you become very bored.
But I am now feeling very small, a lesser person, suddenly finding that simple daily tasks like walking and sleeping a bloody hard challenge.
My thoughts turned to all those many hundreds of thousands of people out here who have some form of disease, disability and genetic problems that cause pains, discomforts and where daily living is a constant battle and a challenge, not only physically, but for the Mind too.
I am Human, and I am prone to breaking.
So lets all take care of ourselves, because we are not immortal as many seem to think we are.