Loss
Today I sit in my Unit feeling in a down mood.
Today at work I received a message from my Mother to let me know that my Uncle back in South Australia had passed away.
My Aunt, whom I am close to, made a very hard decision a few years ago to have my Uncle admitted to a Nursing Home due to his deteriorating mental state. No longer capable of living at Home, he was a Resident of a very Caring Aged Care Facility in Victor Harbor.
Although he was cared for exceptionally well, the feelings of Guilt my Aunt endured each day was profound. That feeling that she had failed in his care, after all, way back when 2 people were married, they said they would look after each other in sickness and in health til death do us part.
Being admitted to a Nursing Home just didn't fit into those marriage vows!
As each day, month and year passed, my Uncle's mental state rapidly decreased. A few days ago, I received a call to say he was now Palliative. The end of his Life was fast approaching, and today I found out it had ended yesterday afternoon.
Although I am surrounded by people "passing on" in my Work all the time, I find that when a Family member passes on, I feel very lost and sad.
I try to think why do I feel so low and sad when this happens. I see death all the time. I can be with a Resident at work and watch them slip away into eternity.
Yet a Family Member fills me with grief and I feel so confused and lost.
I think it is because they are MY FAMILY! Not someone elses Family. This is my Relative, my Family member whom I have know all my Life, a part of my Identity and my 'tribe!'
When they die, their association with my Life moves into another chapter. Now no longer living, they have become Deceased family, moved to the memories of my Past. We can only speak of them in Past Tense now, no longer in Present Tense.
Also it has made me realise that my Parents and Family are now older. They are approaching Old Age, and one day in the future, they too will pass on. My Uncle is the first of my Parent Generation to pass on in My Immediate Family. Time moves on, and death will eventually come to us all. Makes you feel very humble and vulnerable.
Unfortunately, I will not be in Victor Harbor to see my Uncle laid to rest, nor be there for my Aunt and Cousins. My Parents will be there, driving up from country SA, to represent us all.
Its an end to another era, one I can only remember from my memories now. My thoughts of my Uncle take me back to my Childhood, a life that feels so long ago.
Eternal Freedom now Uncle Alv!!
Free to roam the Outback!!!
Today at work I received a message from my Mother to let me know that my Uncle back in South Australia had passed away.
My Aunt, whom I am close to, made a very hard decision a few years ago to have my Uncle admitted to a Nursing Home due to his deteriorating mental state. No longer capable of living at Home, he was a Resident of a very Caring Aged Care Facility in Victor Harbor.
Although he was cared for exceptionally well, the feelings of Guilt my Aunt endured each day was profound. That feeling that she had failed in his care, after all, way back when 2 people were married, they said they would look after each other in sickness and in health til death do us part.
Being admitted to a Nursing Home just didn't fit into those marriage vows!
As each day, month and year passed, my Uncle's mental state rapidly decreased. A few days ago, I received a call to say he was now Palliative. The end of his Life was fast approaching, and today I found out it had ended yesterday afternoon.
Although I am surrounded by people "passing on" in my Work all the time, I find that when a Family member passes on, I feel very lost and sad.
I try to think why do I feel so low and sad when this happens. I see death all the time. I can be with a Resident at work and watch them slip away into eternity.
Yet a Family Member fills me with grief and I feel so confused and lost.
I think it is because they are MY FAMILY! Not someone elses Family. This is my Relative, my Family member whom I have know all my Life, a part of my Identity and my 'tribe!'
When they die, their association with my Life moves into another chapter. Now no longer living, they have become Deceased family, moved to the memories of my Past. We can only speak of them in Past Tense now, no longer in Present Tense.
Also it has made me realise that my Parents and Family are now older. They are approaching Old Age, and one day in the future, they too will pass on. My Uncle is the first of my Parent Generation to pass on in My Immediate Family. Time moves on, and death will eventually come to us all. Makes you feel very humble and vulnerable.
Unfortunately, I will not be in Victor Harbor to see my Uncle laid to rest, nor be there for my Aunt and Cousins. My Parents will be there, driving up from country SA, to represent us all.
Its an end to another era, one I can only remember from my memories now. My thoughts of my Uncle take me back to my Childhood, a life that feels so long ago.
Eternal Freedom now Uncle Alv!!
Free to roam the Outback!!!
posted by Lindsay at 2:46 pm
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